Tuesday, December 17, 2013

in sync (not the band)

the next few posts will be written while i'm on vacation. in hawaii. i might mention the view...a few times. sorry in advance if that stirs up some frustations regarding your current winter whereabouts. if it's any consolation, i'll be leaving the consistent 81 degrees of Oahu for the well below freezing temperatures of Montana in just a few days. or maybe that makes it worse....since i'll be having a white Christmas... 

running. i've posted a number of times about running. i like it. no, wait, i hate it.  well, every day i feel differently about it. my husband is super into it. and sometimes we run together.  one thing i notice when we run together is the importance of being in sync. not the band... the act of being in unison, our feet hitting the ground at the same time, our pace staying the same. i'm aware of this probably, at least partly, due to the musician thing.  when i have been to workout classes where the instructor can't keep time and is out-of-sync with the music, it drives me nuts. when i hear music playing in an airport, restaurant or mall it's nearly impossible for me to NOT walk in time to it.  weird i know.  so maybe that's part of it. but i think there's more to it than that...

God created marriage to be a partenership. and it's NOT EASY.  all you cute, young things that are obsessed with your wedding boards on Pinterest and want to get married cuz you want 'a wedding'... think long and hard about the decision you're making. it's for life. well, God's original design is for life. the world says otherwise.  and i realize we live in a broken, messed up version of what God intended, and i'm fully aware that some of you have experienced that brokenness first hand.... and i'm so sorry. this is not meant as judgement in any way. please know that.  i simply want to try and shed some light on the truth. 

being married, and staying on the same page takes work. but it can be done. and sometimes, when you think HE needs to work on "________________" (enter your issue... i mean his issue... here) maybe you need to be the one to adjust your step and get in sync.  

when Brian and i were running the other day, (along the beach!!!) i realized several times that we had fallen out of sync. our pace was inconsistent, our footfalls were choppy and off.  this annoyed me. i'm already breathing heavy, struggling, the last thing i need is for my mind to have to work at rhythm. but instead of saying,"adjust your step to fit with mine...gosh!!" (there were other versions that crossed my mind) i simply adjusted my pace to fit with his. i had to do it several times. and honestly... it was no big deal. 

it probably goes without saying that applying that to real issues in a relationship is quite a bit more challenging.  yes, true. but it gives a glimpse into the process. it helped me see my tendency to want to be right, to want my way, to be easily annoyed. it also helped me see that humility, while sometimes hard, helps. YES... he's got his own issues. but they aren't mine to fix. 

i want to encourage you to be open and willing to see stuff about yourself.  this may apply directly to your specific situation. or not. whatever the case, humility and surrender can only serve to better our relationsips.  

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