the STANDard // july

as you might could imagine, in moving from southern California to northwestern Montana, there are many lessons to be learned.  like, as in, countless lessons.  (one, perhaps, being cutting ties with the word 'like'. or not. i mean, you can take the girl out of California.... but you can't take the California outta the girl).  there are certain things about country life that don't necessarily translate, until you become immersed in country life.  there are things you say you'd never do...things that, at one time, made you say, "ew!!!".  until necessity proves you wrong.  and slowly, lessons are learned.

one such lesson we have learned... continue to get schooled in... is found in the principle of reaping and sowing.  this is a concept, a truth, that we all know; and yet until you actually plant something and watch it grow.... or not... you can't quite fully integrate into everyday life.  and it IS that... something you integrate into everyday life. no matter where you live. or what you do.

when you plant a seed, there are necessary steps that must be taken in order for that seed to grow into what it's meant to become.  now, i'm a complete newbie at growing things, and quite honestly, i'm not very good at it.  but i still get the idea that no water and no sunshine and no pruning is gonna mean no flower or no fruit or no vegetable. this is common sense 101.  hashtag gardening for dummies.  if you take care of and maintain a garden, you'll get food or flowers. if you don't, you won't. you'll get weeds, which not only aren't good for anything, they destroy things.

we are currently cutting our first ever hay field! and when i say we i mean the farmer next door, because he has the equipment. and the experience.  and while, after weeks of essential (and typical in June) rain and days of perfect summer sunshine, the alfalfa and grass look rich and vibrant, it's true that there are things we will do differently next time.  as first-timers, we're learning that irrigation and fertilization are key to multiple cuttings.  we will probably only get one cutting this year because we didn't do either of those things.  two cuttings is double the hay... double the money.  you reap what you sow.

in life, this idea of what you put in is what you get out, translates across the board. in ANY job, career, or creative endeavor this holds true.  if you want to drop some weight and/or get healthy you have to be consistent and make good choices in order to see results. if you choose to continue making poor/unhealthy choices, well, you'll stay stuck where you are.  if you want to climb the proverbial ladder of success, get a promotion or become a better anything you have to do the extra work, go the extra mile and make the extra sacrifices to get there.  if you continue saying things like, 'who cares', 'i don't feel like it' , 'i'll do it later', or 'whatever'... most likely that's going to mean no growth for you.  but... if you make the effort, take the chance, put in the time then you'll not only get better at whatever you're doing, but you'll grow in confidence and stamina! all good things.

in Galatians 6 Paul applies this to our hearts:
"do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. a man reaps what he sows. the one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

since i believe in the things of the Spirit, i believe that all of life is colored and covered by this.  that whatever i do, whether singing songs about Jesus, writing words in worship, fixing dinner for my family, having a disagreement with my husband, giving my daughter advice, talking about life with my son... i get to choose in each and everyone of those instances to sow to either my flesh or the Spirit.  the decisions i make reveal my motives.  am i sowing seeds of self? or sacrifice?  am i hung up on old ways? or allowing the Father to prune my heart? am i given over to constant comparison? or letting go of my need for man's approval?

it's not easy to maintain a garden or a field. it takes consistent effort and hard labor.  but don't be afraid to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty.  you'll get stronger and the harvest is WORTH IT!

my STANDard for the month of july is:
Galatians 6:7
"...a man reaps what he sows..."

the STANDard // june

I've become aware in recent weeks of my tendency toward the negative.  I can easily have selective focus when it comes to my circumstances; seeing them as dark, ominous clouds...heavy with 'no, never, not you'.  I think that's part of the broken world we live in; one of the enemy's favorite, and most effective, weapons is distortion. that's why those negative clouds seem so weighty. but they're really just pushy, the darkness of doubt and discouragement.  they literally throw their weight around and shove their way into our subconscious like big bullies, blocking out the sun, taking up unnecessary space in our minds.  and all the while, grace waits. just a simple adjustment in perspective, a turning of the lens, brings the light into focus. peace holds it's ground, a strong and steady presence ready to pull us up and out of the negative pit.  

listen, I'm not at all suggesting that suffering isn't real and debilitating, it absolutely is. I'm suggesting that perhaps we easily fall into the trap of believing the enemy's lies over God's truth. 

 i admit that I've often focused on the pit...and i realize THAT'S what inhibits my ability to praise. and it's praise that paves a clear way out. praising God gives us hope, it clears the clouds long enough for us to see that there is a wide, gaping opening above us. a huge and obvious exit! but when my eyes are only focused on the darkness of the pit I'm in, it's that much harder for my eyes to adjust to the light.... if i keep my eyes up, however, the light becomes my view, my focus.  the darkness diminishes as i trust the light.

what does that pit have to offer anyway? when you find yourself in a place of discouragement or despair is that where you want to stay? in the movie 'the princess bride', the 'pit of despair' is a place of torturous punishment.  i, for one, don't want to stay there. it's not somewhere that breathes life and joy into our hearts and minds. it's the enemy's attempt to slow us down and trip us up.  but when we are able to look up, look past our current circumstances, living our lives in gratitude, praising the Father for all he's already done, and all He's sure to do, we can gain ground, make strides upward.  where that pit has nothing but darkness to offer, The Lord offers endless benefits! we see them more clearly as we choose to praise Him. not to say we'll never ever encounter another pit, but once you know the way out of one, you'll have a leg up on the rest. 

the passage I've chosen to memorize and meditate on for this months STANDard is:

Psalm 103:1-5

'praise The Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

 praise The Lord, my soul and forget not all his benefits:

 who FORGIVES all your sins

 and HEALS all your diseases

 who REDEEMS your life from the PIT

 and CROWNS you with love and compassion

 who SATISFIES your desires with good things

 so that your youth is RENEWED like the eagles'

the STANDard :: may

i'm a reader.  i admit i've gone through seasons of my life where i sort of abandoned it.... or more accurately just let it slide down the priority list a ways.  but it's always there. that desire, that need to read.  and i'll read anything... magazines. (i'm not an only-interested-in-the-pictures person. although i do LOVE the pictures) articles. newspapers. blogs. books.  words heal and help and inspire and convict and move...

the upside to the technologically advanced world we live in today is that we have incredibly easy access to all of the things to read.  the downside is that easy access means i'm easily distracted.  i can get myself into a whole lot of trouble with the misuse of my time when i take detour after detour,  down, down the rabbit hole of the web.

again, the upside of getting lost in the internet maze is that there are beautiful things to be found. i've come across authors and articles that have been just what i needed in a particular moment.  the downside... in addition to the obvious mis-management of my time... is the tendency my mind has to begin to wander to places of insecurity and discouragement.

i can easily wind up feeling inadequate as i look at all of the beautiful pictures and see what (it seems) like everyone else is doing and thinking.  i find myself caught up in comparing my thoughts to theirs. my style to theirs. my accomplishments to theirs.   and i imagine, like Alice, this confusing wonder at how on earth i wound up here.  this is not right.

i recently read through the book of John.  again.  (this time it was along with if::equip, a community of women determined to live lives anchored in the Word) i've read through the Bible in a year. i've read through the Bible in 90 days.  i've attempted various reading plans over the years... some successfully and some, well, not so.  this reading of John was just what i needed.

there is immeasurable depth and truth, what with Jesus actual Words being spoken. (understatement)  and it's impossible to relay the extent of all that the Holy Spirit spoke to every part of me.  but there is one thing that i came away with that i absolutely want to mediate on for this month... words i felt were spoken directly to me.

in chapter 21, Jesus has a conversation with Peter that holds immense meaning.  it vaguely refers to Peter's past (denying Jesus 3 times), and tells something of Peter's future (when you are old you will stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go). it's weighty and confrontational and beautiful.  and Peter's response is:

"what about him?" referring to John.

Peter and John had a thing.  a competitive friendship it seems to me.  they raced to the tomb.  John mentions his beating Peter there THREE TIMES!! i can only assume that as regular humans, a sense of comparison or competition existed among the disciples at least occasionally.  clearly, because now here is Peter saying.... "ok, ok. you have a plan for ME, Jesus. great! but, um, what about him?" sneaking a peek behind them at John.

and Jesus responds: "if i want him to remain alive until i return... what is that to you? YOU must follow me."

point being, Jesus words to Peter are the same to YOU and to ME.
"do you love me? follow me."
"this isn't about him. this is about you"
stop with all the 'yeah, but she...' and 'why does he....' and 'when do i...'
enough.  follow me from here, now, with what i've already given.  quit worrying about all the other stuff that has nothing to do with you.

do we believe God's Word or not?
do we believe He has a plan that has our best interest and His perfect purpose in mind? or not?

John 21:21,22

"...Lord, what about him? Jesus answered if i want him to remain alive until i return, what is that to you? YOU must follow me."

i pray that as we, as a global community of believers,  set our hearts and our minds on things above and hide the Word of truth in our hearts, that we would be willing, available, moldable vessels God can fill and use.

in His name
by his strength
for His glory

if you'd like to join me on this journey of memorizing truth, you can order your own set of STANDard cards by sending 10$ via paypal to: official crystal@gmail.com

the STANDard // april

i'm not a huge fan of rushing.  i feel as though i've spent the majority of my life in a state of hurry.   from being late for school to running late for church to waiting till the last minute on homework or racing out the door to catch a flight i've done a lot of rushing over the years.   i do a lot of it, and yet i continue my non-fan status.  however....

i recently reread this passage in Romans 13:11-14 that says... in essence... be in a hurry.  and i realized: i've been rushing about for the wrong reasons.  i've been hurrying to pointless appointments.  i've been striving and sweating over things that won't matter a year from now. a week from now... if ever!  don't misunderstand me, i'm not saying that getting things done doesn't matter or we shouldn't try to be on time or finish projects in a timely manner.  being a good steward of our days and our time is right and important for establishing the foundation of good habits, for cultivating a sense of honor and respect (of other's time and efforts) and developing the groundwork for goal-reaching.   yes to all of that.   what i am saying is that we need a shift to occur in our thinking... a dramatic corner-turning needs to take place in the way we determine our priorities.  we need to take a hard right as we consider what is worth rushing around about.  an eternal perspective needs to pervade our planning.

today, April 1, is the anniversary of the home-going of one of my best friends daughters.  Yvette was just shy of her 11th birthday when she flew home to Heaven.  that was 14 years ago.  she has been in the presence of God the Father, experiencing fullness of joy and actual peace for 14 years.  i imagine her cheering me on from the sidelines as i run this race toward home.  oh to know what she knows!  that this life is temporary. that our time here is brief, but that our time here counts.  i wonder how she must long for us to realize the weight of our words, the bearing of our actions, the eternal significance of our minutes... and how we spend them.

we don't have as much time as we think.  i'm not trying to be miss doom and gloom, just the voice of reason and reality. even if we live to be 100, the Bible says our lives are but a breath.  and since we don't know at what age we get to go home, it's imperative that we use what time we do have wisely.  love your neighbors, so when you're gone they'll have seen Jesus.  be a light to your co-workers, so when they are sitting at your funeral they get it.  lay down your selfish desires for your husband or your wife, so that your heart is free in the knowledge that you've been obedient to God.  leave that lifestyle of sex on the side, binge drinking, gossip, and meanness, (the Bible calls it all sin; Romans 13:13)  and live like others are watching. because they are.   wear the name of Jesus with integrity and purpose.  wake up. hurry up. other peoples lives depend on it.

i've chosen Romans 13:12 to memorize this month as my STANDard verse, but i will be mediating on the whole passage, from verse 11 to verse 14.  it's serious.  and as Easter approaches, i want to take eternity seriously.  i want to live in light of the fact that Jesus died so i could live a life of peace and freedom here on Earth, but also so we can live forever with Him in Heaven.

 "...the hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.  the night is nearly over; the day is almost here. so let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.  rather, clothe yourselves with the LORD Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
Romans 13:11-14

*STANDard cards are still available for purchase! they come in sets of 12, one for each month of the year, consisting of 9 different unique designs created by local artists here in Montana.   you can use them to write down a verse you'd like to memorize each month.  feel free to join me in the verse i've chosen, or choose one that God has laid on your heart.  simply send 10$ via PayPal to: officialcrystal@gmail.com (includes shipping)

guest post // leah eash

the Word of God is living and active…. and in so being we are enabled and empowered to live it out…as we read it; as we immerse ourselves in it; as we memorize it! this is what the STANDard is all about. drenching our hearts in the living water of the Word to such an extent that we are changed by it.  and i know for me, that is something that absolutely has to take place daily.  not to be gross… but you know when you (or, ahem, someone you know) hasn't bathed for a few days??? or imagine the effects of not brushing your teeth for a few weeks? or envision for a moment the mess that would be your hair after an entire month not washing it??? no. just, no.  our hearts and minds are similarly affected when we exclude the Word from our lives.   i hate to admit that i know this from personal experience…. not the not-bathing part!!! the getting-too-busy-to-read-my-Bible part.  THAT is why i started the STANDard! so i would have a consistent reminder that memorizing scripture is life-saving. life-giving. life-changing.

one of my dear, sister-like friends (Leah Eash) agrees and has jumped on board with the STANDard project full throttle!  i have been so inspired by her extremely original designs that i wanted to share the way she incorporated her memory verses into her (very busy!!) life last year, 2013.  this year, we've created the STANDard cards to write our verses on (Leah is one of the featured artists that made them so beautiful!) and while i know we'll be putting them to good use in 2014, i have no doubt that she will continue to get creative with making sure her monthly verses are visible in her home! 

here Leah shares a little from her heart:

When we memorize Scripture, we are thinking about it, reading it, writing it, and speaking it. Having a whole month versus a week or two really allowed me to not only mull over the words but hear from the Lord and what He wanted me to glean from that particular passage. And I know for myself, the more you do with a verse, the easier it is to recall! I didn't want to lose sight of all I was gaining spiritually through the STANDard challenge - with my eyes or my heart... SO, I purposed to think outside the box with each verse every month and DO something with it. My desire as an artist was to put it down in some creative form because then I could still see it and have it be a part of our home. Over the course of the year, I ended up only missing 1 month, which I must say was pretty good considering I had a newborn! I was able to do a couple of the projects with my 2 year old son, and one that I did on my own became a gift for a dear friend. This process enabled me to make little changes in our décor, and pushed me to delve deeper in my spiritual walk. Growing in Christ and getting to know Him is what it is all about isn't it?! And we do this through His Word!

january :: acrylic painting

february :: lipstick on mirror

march :: leather bracelet

april :: bookmark (with 2 yr old Grant's help!)

may :: tea towel

june :: journal cover

july :: coloring sheet for Grant

august :: notebook gift

september/october :: Bible study by Elizabeth George based on my verse for the month

november :: table runner

visiti Leah's beautiful blog to see more of her work and find the DIY details of these projects.

also…. don't forget to order your set of STANDard cards! all you have to do is send 10$ via paypal to officialcrystal@gmail.com and be sure to include your address as well as how many sets (12 cards in a set) you'd like.

the STANDard :: march

Montana is an extreme weather state.  and we are currently, as in right this minute while i write this, experiencing some extreme weather... blizzard like snow, very low temperatures,  and very high winds.  it's called winter... ever hear of it?  oh and it's the wind that freaks me out the most.  the sound of it blowing through the trees and past the house keeps me up at night. it doesn't help that early in the season we had a massive tree blow over and destroy some of our neighbors farm equipment.  i just can't help but envision that happening to our house! and it scares me. i can't help it because i can't escape it... i see the effects of it as trees threaten to fall over and i hear it constantly rushing into every teeny space between doors and windows, the creaking and whistling.  it's all around.

in Matthew, the disciples had a run in with the wind. in chapter 14 they were out in the middle of a lake, when it kicked up. and when the scripture says that the disciples boat was 'beaten and tossed by the waves, for the wind was AGAINST them', i take that very seriously!
[let me take this opportunity to mention another Montana extreme... our lakes are extremely everything! extremely deep, extremely cold, extremely beautiful.  they are also, when the wind comes 'round, extremely scary.  the waves that the wind stirs up are ocean like in their strength and size.  boats sink and people drown every year.  it's terrifying.]
i'm sure you're familiar with this story, therefore you know what comes next... Jesus, came to the boat... walking on the water. wind and waves and water did not hinder him in any way. i don't believe that Jesus had to think long and hard about walking across the lake to the boat... it wasn't hard for him.  nothing is too hard for him.  but it scared the disciples near to death.  Peter, however, being, well, Peter, got a surge of courage and in what seems like an i-believe-help-my-unbelief sort of moment, he says "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." and Jesus says..."come on". and Peter did. he walked on the water. as Jesus did. that impossible, scary thing? Peter did it too.  i mean, it wasn't impossible or scary for Jesus,  and he called Peter in to experience how possible it really was. and Peter did, but only for a moment. because next thing we know Peter fell right back into frailty and fear. 'but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord! save me!!"' i find it incredibly interesting that he seems to have forgotten all about the wind and waves there for a minute.  when Jesus first appears to the disciples on the water it says they were terrified. Jesus reassures them by saying "take courage, it is I. don't be afraid", but it never says he stilled the storm or stopped the wind. so when Peter got out of the boat, it stands to reason, the waves were still crashing and the wind still howling.... he just stopped seeing them.  he only saw Jesus.

i want to only see Jesus. but often, i just see the wind.

sometimes i think, when i hear the Spirit speak to my heart with an idea or call me out to something i know i'm meant to accomplish, i get so excited about it at first! i think "YES!!! this is what i've been dreaming of and waiting for!!"... in the same way that Peter had that initial thrill and sense of daring to do something that seemed so crazy.  and then, also like Peter, i often get my proverbial feet out of the boat only to find that insecurity and doubt have bound themselves around my ankles and i begin backtracking and hyper-ventilating and reassessing the situation.... in essence seeing the wind and inevitably i begin sinking.

it's not just actual wind blowing around my house that i'm afraid of.  there is a tempest whipping past my mind, trying to tempt me to doubt.  there are gusts of distractions, blasts of confusion,  whirlwinds of fear all meant to stir up such a storm that i lose all hope and sink. but, Jesus.  he invites me in to His normal. which, to my human eyes, is impossible. still, he commands me to come out

...onto the water...

he doesn't necessarily stop the storm in order for me to do so.  he just says...'come'.  climb out of the boat in spite of the waves.  walk towards me despite the wind.  don't stay there with one hand on the railing.  don't grab a life preserver just in case.  walk out, step out, eyes up, ignore the wind.

will we lose our balance? yes, most likely we will fall, forget, and/or fail a few times.  will Jesus catch us? yes. every time.  but he will call us back out again and again.  the hope is that we will learn and grow, that our faith will be made stronger...bigger... so that Jesus' normal, becomes our normal too.

in an effort to see Jesus above all else and as a reminder to keep my eyes on him alone,  i've chosen to memorize this passage in Matthew as my STANDard this month:

Matthew 14:30+31
'...but when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord! Save me!". immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "you of little faith, why did you doubt?"...'

the STANDard :: February

i guess now is as good a time as any to reveal the title of my new album....

the Beautiful and the Brave

it's quite interesting to take inventory of a life and find recurring themes that unintentionally come in to play on a consistent basis.  this can't happen until a life has been lived for an extended period of time. i'm finding this to be true as i take mid-life inventory of mine.  at 44, i am most likely mid-way through life. i mean, unless i live to be 100, then i've got a few more years until the mid-way point.  but either way, i'm clearly closer to the end than i am to the beginning.  in many ways that's a somewhat sobering thought. but rather than feel any kind of regret, dread or fear about this mid-way point, i'm feeling instead a renewed peace and thrill about the next season. and as i take a minute and reflect on my history, even as i consider my future, im seeing a thread, discovering variations on these 2 repeating themes:  
beauty + bravery 

in 1996 i recorded an album titled 'Beauty for Ashes', anchored in Isaiah 61.

i began to see the truth in that scripture and know that God would in fact do what he promised to do, which was to take the wrecked, mess-of-a-life that many of us live(d) and dramatically transform it into something that brought healing and growth and even joy. He did. He does.

in 2001 i released an album titled 'Fearless'.
my life verse is 2 Timothy 1:7...'for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind".  oh, how i have clung to that verse! the idea of being fearless is a good one... although my attempts at it have been feeble.  i continue to learn that it's in my weakness that God is strong.  when i am weak...afraid... HE is strong for me.

as most art is somewhat autobiographical, these two projects served as both prequels and sequels in my life. and at 44, on the verge of releasing yet another album (in a few months), i'm seeing once more this thread connecting these themes.  i continue to learn, and even love, the way God leads us through seasons of life.  the truth in Ecclesiastes 3... that there is a God-ordained time for everything and the fact that HE HAS MADE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL IN IT'S TIME!  it's ok! it's going to be ok!  even the circumstances in our lives that are dried up, burned up ashes, will be beautiful because of Jesus. that's the beauty part.
the brave part comes into play in the way those seasons play out and the uphill battle that often accompanies them.  they are sometimes dark and cold, lonely and painful.  moments when giving up is easier than carrying on.  OH!!! but the view from the top is worth it.  God is faithful and every promise is TRUE!  it's entirely possible that some of us may have to wait until we step into eternity to really see the final, BEAUTIFUL outcome... but is not Heaven our home? are we not just passing through? 

keeping our eyes on Jesus is the only way up. the only way forward. is HE worth it? yes. a resounding YES!

Psalm 27:14 (although the ENTIRE Psalm is applicable!!)

"wait patiently for the LORD;
BE BRAVE
and courageous
Yes! wait patiently for the LORD"

armor on, sword drawn, deep breath....

guest post // physicister

i'm thrilled to introduce you to our very first guest blog poster! wait... the first guest post blogger? hold on... the first person that's not me to blog a post in 2014? post a blog?

you know what forget it.

and this is why i enlist help y'all!  specifically the help of highly qualified individuals that also happen  to be friends... and in this case family.  my sister (henceforth we will refer to her as physicister, but her actual name is Candace) works as a medical physicist in CA and is, as you can imagine, brilliant.  i mean, you'd have to be to work in that field.  and she's funny. and compassionate and conscientious. and articulate.  

...candace (physicister) is second from the end on the right...

she recently spent a week at my house with her family, along with the rest of our clan.  during her time with us, she connected, rather literally, with our cat Norman.  i'll let her tell you the rest...

Norman

Norman is not normal.  He seems to comfortably exist in the quiet assurance that he’s the best cat ever created.  His luxurious orange and white fur coat, lazy glare, and nothing short of stunning girth, exude confidence and dominance.  Norman knows what he wants – to be petted for 5 or 6 seconds, and no more.  When he’s had enough, he doesn’t say “no thank you” with a gentle removal and a swish of the tail like other cats – polite is not his style.  He rules his kingdom with more of a Jabba-the-Hutt school of thought.  When he’s done being admired, you know it from the sudden contact you feel with teeth or claws, and possibly from the dots of blood forming on the plump part of your hand.  And he’s still lying there, starring at you, even purring, daring you to venture in a second time.  On my more arrogant days, his dreamy fur and hypnotizing purring draws me in again, and I catch myself naively thinking, “Ah, this cat just wants to play!  He loves me!  He’s so swee…” – Nope.  My mistake.

I relate to this cat a lot more than I’d like to.  Honestly, my natural tendency is to interact with people like Norman does – claws and teeth ready.  I swear I seem to lie in wait for someone near me to make a mistake, and then I pounce, often leaving a mark.  If someone forgets something that I have no trouble remembering, loses something that I have no trouble finding, misses something that I quickly notice, I damage them with a ready, cutting response – “Are you kidding me?  Don’t you REMEMBER?  How could you NOT SEE THAT – are you BLIND?  WHAT are you thinking?”  Now, I’m not saying I’m always this blunt – sometimes I am, but often I’m more subtle.  My blank, dumbfounded stare is a sword I wield expertly which, without words, says clearly “Uhm, how the heck did you get through God’s quality control system?”  Even my “ssshh” can sound like a whispered insult – a skill I’ve carefully honed.  I use these weapons carelessly around the husband I love, and the children I was put on this earth to protect and encourage.  (Huh.  How did I get through God’s QC?)

When my husband or son can’t find something that I JUST saw, where they JUST were… let’s face it – I don’t even have to think about it – the ridicule flows from me effortlessly.  I might as well add a “Bwoohahahaha!!” in front of my typical response, and rub my hands together.   I might as well run around my house quoting one of our favorite family films by saying, “I’m the best person in the whole town!” – only change the word “town” to “family”.  

My point: When I indulge in the luxury of criticizing sharply and unnecessarily as soon as people near me make a little mistake or do something dumb, when I take advantage of those situations to nurture my pride by insulting them for not being as good or as smart as I am, I’m more like an evil psychopath, or Crystal’s maniacal cat Norman, than the great mother and wife I want to be.  This is something I want to change.   I want to exercise the self-control necessary to respond patiently – the way I hope they will respond to ME, when I’ve lost MY keys.  The good news is, I must not be the first person with this problem, because Jesus addressed this issue long ago, as recorded in Matthew 5:37, which is my family’s memory verse and standard for January (yay!)

Just let your ‘Yes’ be a simple ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ be a simple ‘No’; anything more than this has its origin in evil.

I love this version of the verse because it starts with “Just…” – it sounds as if Jesus is rolling his eyes a little, exasperated with me, because I can’t just say, “Yes, baby – your notebook is on your dresser upstairs ☺.”  I’m exasperated with me, too!  I consider how nervous I feel when my large-footed, accident-prone, puberty-ridden, long-armed 14 year old swings a stick near me!  (Yes, he STILL loves swinging sticks around like a ninja… really?)  I hate to think it, but that must be how my family feels around me sometimes – nervous they might get stung if they make a mistake near me.

My weapons ought to be sheathed except when they are really needed, right? – to protect and defend my loved ones, NOT attack them.  I want my STANDARD, for this month and always, to wave in the breeze in greeting to those around me, heralding me ‘approachable’, as opposed to a flag that I plant on the heels of their human errors, in some sort of personal victory each day.  God, please help me find, and then strengthen and hone, the self-control you created me with.  Help me discover and nurture the loving patience you designed me with.  I know these fruits are within me, stifled by laziness, but ready to ripen if I’m ready to work at it.  I want to be the encouraging mom my kids need, and the wife my husband finds it easy to love.

-physicister

the STANDard :: january :: 2014

the inevitability of change fills my mind with equal amounts of freedom and fear.  freedom in knowing that circumstances, seasons and scenarios WILL change...they're meant to, made to; and fear in the unknown part of the imminent change. what if? not yet? when? how on Earth?

here we stand, on the edge of a new year, looking forward and anticipating change. and, hopefully, the impending life-shift is being met with positive expectation.  especially if this past year has been filled with hardship or sorrow, that fact lends a measure of comfort as we can rest in knowing that things will, inevitably, change. and not just change.... but according to God's perfect plan, it'll become beautiful.

and so it is that i have chosen this verse as my first STANDard of this new year:

Ecclesiastes 3:11
"...He has made everything BEAUTIFUL in it's time..."

in the Amplified version, verse 11 goes on to say, "...He also has planted eternity in men's hearts and minds (a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy)..."

this statement comes just after Solomon has listed a myriad of "times". a time to be born, a time to die; a time to break down, a time to build up; a time to embrace and a time to part; a time to cry, a time to laugh....  and while these things are clearly, as i'm sure you and i both have experienced in our lives, an obvious and normal part of life there are some things that we probably wish there was never a time for.  death. sorrow. letting go. hate. war.  and yet the scripture is telling us.... He (God) has made each thing, each season, BEAUTIFUL in it's time. in HIS time.

how can that be??? how can the bitter become beautiful? how can there ever be a good time for sorrow? what good could possibly come from breaking down, crying, death?  i don't fully comprehend it, but i completely trust the one who does.

so if we are going to trust that and live accordingly, it's going to take some courage... more on that next month, as i'll attempt to tie some things together and begin to paint a musical picture of it all.
for now, suffice it to say... i believe God wants us to be BRAVE as we walk by faith through this next season and into whatever this new year holds... i have no doubt that in it's time, it will be BEAUTIFUL.

*  *  *

side note:  the STANDard cards are now available for purchase!!  currently they are only available via paypal, although we will have them on the website soon.  it's 10$ for a set of 12 (9 designs) including shipping...

paypal me at officialcrystal@gmail.com and include your address as well as how many sets you'd like in the comment box.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

the STANDard :: december

i realize it's only December 1st (or 2nd actually,  since as i'm writing this the clock has struck midnight) but as we begin the end of this year, i'm finding it equally thought-provoking to observe what lies behind as well as to contemplate what might lay before me.  however, in this moment, i want to focus on whats ahead.  this has been a rather rough year.  more rocky roads and challenges in the span of 12 months than i remember in years past.  from walking through some things as a family to walking alongside some friends through extremely difficult circumstances, i'm being just plain honest as i say… i'm kinda glad to see 2014 on the horizon.  and while i absolutely believe that 2013 was held in the hands of my Saviour, and all has been, or still will be, perfectly orchestrated for my good, according to His will… i am also expecting GREAT things to come.

today, Dec. 1, is the first Sunday of Advent. this month of Christmas celebration is going to be full of expectation.  Advent is the anticipation of Christ's coming.  and while we know that He already came… our wonderful counselor, mighty God, prince of peace, everlasting father… hence our reason for celebrating Christmas at all, we also know that HE IS COMING AGAIN! we live in anticipation of the second advent! we expect Him.  and while we wait, we hope. and in our hope we have courage to stand and endure.

my verse for this final month of 2013 is Psalm 27:14 (AMP)

"wait and hope for and EXPECT the LORD; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. yes, wait for and hope for and EXPECT the Lord."

God has good things in store for 2014! ways for us to grow and flourish! ways for us to be challenged and pruned, ways for us to work and mature, ways for us to serve and learn.  no matter what… we can EXPECT God to move! let the anticipation of His presence push you forward…

oh! real quick…. speaking of 2014… so much in store!
i'll be relaying information on all kinds of new things in the coming weeks!
first up… since we are on the subject of the STANDard… i've FINALLY completed a project i've had in mind to do for a couple of years:

the STANDard cards!!!

since i started writing this feature on the first of each month (you can read more about the initial idea here…and here...) i have also consistently written my verse for each month on a card that i keep either in my office, in my bedroom or in my Bible.  sometimes in all three places!  i'm not much of an artist (you can see my attempts above), so i asked a handful of my beautiful and talented artist friends in Montana to help me out.  i had them each draw up their own interpretation of a STANDard and made them into sets of 12 cards, one for each month of the year on which to write your own verse!  (see photo below)

i can't wait to use them! now… a set of these STANDard cards will be included in the Kickstarter rewards of 70$ and up.  so you may already be set to receive one! but i'm thrilled to announce that after the first of the year, they'll be available on my website for purchase!  i hope if you haven't already, you'll choose to join me this next year in memorizing/meditating on a verse each month.


ps here is a list of my amazing artist friends that contributed to the STANDard cards:

Ashley Rodriguez // Thorn + Sparrow
Leah Eash // Leah Eash Designs
Elisha Guido // Elisha Guido Writes
Abby Sue Carlson // Karlsson Photography

the STANDard :: november

aint nobody got time for that... drama. unhealthy competition. back biting. lies. 

i hate how easy it is to fall in to those things in everyday life and conversations. sometimes one thing leads to another and we find ourselves in situations we didn't expect or intend to be in. while, yes, there are times when we are able to intentionally avoid these kinds of situations. there are other times when we say.."wait, what just happened? how did i get here?". 

Jesus was tempted too. tempted to give in to all these same things that we are tempted to give in to.  Satan took some shots, threw some sucker punches, by stretching and distorting truth and God's Word and making some underhanded suggestions. "hey Jesus, you could be awesome, hey Jesus you could be the best, hey Jesus you could be everyones favorite". but obviously, our God is much too smart and holy and perfect to have given in to such nonsense.  not that it wasn't excruciatingly difficult. Jesus was fully man at that time. fully humanly physical and capable of starvation. capable of exhaustion. capable of human reactions and responses because he was, in fact, human. and hungry.  he'd been fasting for 40 days.   yet the Bible says he was without sin.   he stood up to the enemy and fought back with truth. actual, whole, absolute truth. because that truth was hidden in his heart, he was able to recall it and use it to combat the enemy.

when Satan tempts us, he does the same exact thing. he tells bits of truth but infuses it with darkness, stretching it, distorting it, bloating it. sometimes it's subtle, sometimes it's obvious. but no matter what we have the power over sin because of Jesus. because of JESUS. freedom because of Jesus, life because of Jesus. Heaven because of Jesus. 

it's so clear that the enemy knew that Jesus was up to good.  immediately after the 40 days/nights of temptation in the wilderness, the Bible says 'Jesus began his ministry'(Matthew 4:12). i believe that Satan was staging a last ditch effort to thwart God's plan. i imagine all of Heavens armies were gathering, mobilizing in anticipation of the warfare sure to come once Jesus starting changing lives and healing hearts.  

and i also believe that as you and i attempt great things on behalf of our God that the enemy will be hot on our heels as well.  that means he's going to be throwing everything he's got at us. little things that might seem harmless on the surface but that do great damage. big things that we think we can't possible survive. everyday things that we've grown accustomed to and fail to realize what they really are.... and on and on.  

so in addition to my verse for this month's STANDard, here are 3 things that i hope help us in putting Jesus' lesson of temptation to work in our own lives.

first: we have to pinpoint the specific areas where we are being tempted. in other words, identify the stuff Satan is using against you. where are you weak? where do you consistently fail? what trips you up most often? what are you believing that's NOT true? or not believing that IS true? identify what truth(s) are being distorted. 

secondly: just like Jesus 'fought back' with scripture, we can too! in Ephesians the Word of God is referred to as the Sword of the Spirit... take it and use it to parry in defense!  i've mentioned multiple times elsewhere how much i love action movies/stories.  i just love the adventure and battle scenes, hence my use of the word parry.  it's a fencing term meaning to ward off or evade. it's when you throw up your sword to deflect an incoming thrust.  it's thinking on your feet and using what you've got to fight back and protect yourself.  for us, it's cutting through the crap the enemy thrusts at us, not shrinking back and giving in, but instead fending off and keeping at bay.  so, you've identified and pinpointed the chinks in your armor, now dig through the Word and find the truth. Gods Word is living, breathing, accurate and absolute. be careful not to take it out of context and simply find verses that support your theories, as it were.  but read it daily... let it saturate your life, so that when the time comes (like every single day all the time) you'll be able to recall it, like Jesus did. now... obviously i'm not suggesting that we memorize the Bible in it's entirety, but rather become familiar with it. very, very familiar with it.  so you KNOW when it's being taken out of context. so you KNOW when the enemy is using it against you. so you KNOW how to use it in your defense. 

finally, proceed. get up. go forward. the enemy has made his play, you've parried the best you can. now stand on the promises of God and proceed in what he's given you to do. be about your Fathers business.  wait... i want to emphasize that:

BE ABOUT YOUR FATHERS BUSINESS

i truly believe that what the enemy wants is you and me distracted by disappointments and discouragements, effectively keeping us occupied with ourselves. because then we aren't focused on what ACTUALLY MATTERS.... JESUS

at the end of the 40 days of temptation in the wilderness, Jesus said: 

"away from me Satan, for it is written: worship The Lord your God and serve him only"

in the Message it says it this way:

" 'beat it Satan!' he backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: 'worship The Lord your God, and only him. serve him with absolute single-heartedness.' "

2 verses later Jesus begins His earthly ministry. 

i wonder what God is stirring in your heart. what the enemy senses and therefore is attempting to prevent.  i know there are a lot of doubts in my mind regarding the future. lot's of 'yeah, but's' and 'can't be's'.  so i can only assume you've got some too.  i encourage you to take these three simple things to heart... 

pinpoint; parry; proceed

be honest with yourself and God and let him do the difficult work of pruning if need be.  

then surrender and get to work... be about your heavenly Father's business

i'm going to be memorizing and meditating on Matthew 4:10 this month:

"Get out of here Satan... for the scriptures say: 'you must Worship The Lord your God and serve only him' "

i would love to know what verse you are memorizing!

the STANDard :: october

 if you are an avid social media user and follow me on twitter or facebook or instagram, then you're probably well aware of the activities i've been engaged in as of late.  namely: painting.  we moved out of one house and [eventually] moved into another.  as is often the case, there were several changes we wanted to make to the house and property to make it more, well, our own.  we decided to do as much of the work as possible ourselves.  and a large part of that work, for me,  has involved painting... walls, doors, window trim, floors, cabinets, cupboards, drawers... you name it, i've probably painted it in the last month.  i've taken the painting on as my own personal project.  but what i initially considered to be a fairly simple undertaking turned into a far larger part of my every-single-day than i expected.  for one thing, there were A LOT more things i wanted to coat with color (or in my case non-color because i've literally painted EVERYTHING white) than i thought there would be. it's that domino effect... once you paint one thing then you're like, well now i have to paint that too. and where do you stop? in my case, well, you don't!

we are now 40 days in and i'm slowing down. there are still a few projects on the horizon, but i've decided to just finish what's currently important and in process... mainly getting our office back up and running.  and we still haven't quite moved everything in to the house... because... painting.

as i wrap up my major painting projects and begin to rein in my obsession... and attempt to establish some normalcy (haha good one) ... i wanted to share one of the lessons i've learned in this last month.  there are several.... lessons to be learned from painting i mean... but today i've chosen just one.

sand paper

my friend Leah used this term the other day as we discussed some of life's little obstacles and frustrations.  and i thought... i have used a lot of sand paper lately.  i wouldn't have understood how it so appropriately applied to me before, but having used it quite a bit in recent days, i get it.

the very official (read: wikipedia) definition of sand paper is as follows:

Sandpaper is part of the "coated abrasives" family of abrasive products. It is used to remove small amounts of material from surfaces, either to make them smoother (for example, in painting and wood finishing), to remove a layer of material (such as old paint), or sometimes to make the surface rougher (for example, as a preparation to gluing).

i would like to confess here that, as an amateur painter, i did the very least amount of sanding possible.  for one thing, it was hard.  i sanded the first few things i painted rather thoroughly,  but then it was just too hard so i simply ran a single sheet of sand paper over the edges real quick.  also, it took a long time.  far too time consuming considering i had ALL this stuff to paint! who has time for the extra work?!
i hear the pro's not only thoroughly sand prior to painting, but after painting they sand again. then apply another coat of paint. then sand again. then apply another coat of paint. and so on and so forth until it's perfect.  hence the price of professional painting.  hence my new found love/hate for DIY. but i digress...

here's the application.  God uses the frustrations and irritations and obstacles we encounter in our lives like sand paper.  they can be abrasive, and hard, and time consuming.  they can seem pointless and unnecessary.  they can be painful and ugly and sad.  however, as the epitome of a professional painter, God uses them to refine us and smooth us out and make us beautiful, preparing us for what's to come. we sometimes, often times, prefer to take short cuts.  i know i'd rather avoid the real work of forgiveness and discipline and sacrifice but still like to see the same results of blessing and success and favor.  but no.  pure gold is only brought forth from fire.  the process of testing and refining is invaluable.  it's where the lessons are learned.

the verse's that i've chosen to memorize and meditate on this month... the STANDard i choose to rally under for October... are:

Psalm 66: 9+10+16

"...He has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping;
for you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver'
come and hear, all you who fear God... let me tell you 
what He has done for me!..."

i love that the Psalmist says God has kept our feet from slipping but in the same breath acknowledges being tested.  i don't know... in my flesh i would NOT typically associate refining (testing) and rescue (feet from slipping).   and yet it is in the refining that we are rescued... though it doesn't usually feel like it at the time.  and then, in verse 16, he says he is going to tell everyone all about it.  because it's in the telling that we find our purpose.  Isaiah 61:3 says that God gives beauty for ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair! why? as a planting of the Lord for the DISPLAY OF HIS SPLENDOR.  for others to see an example of what God can do.  we give each other hope as we make it up and out of that refining fire.  we can't help but tell what He's done for us!

"i fell... got all tangled up and tripped.  but God let me see His hand of mercy in it.  i cried and cried and wanted to quit.  i was so hurt and angry i wanted to hit something. or someone.  but God showed me grace and lifted my head up so i could see his.  which is the only face that matters.  and i'm better. i'm whole. i'm his.  and i want you to know about it. because he'll do the same for you"

what has he done for you???

the STANDard :: september

i spend an embarrassing amount of time over-thinking my future.  comparing where i've been with where i am with where i think i might be going.  i search the scriptures for clues and hints and answers. i come up with plans and strategies, initiate ideas, take steps... often only to come up empty and discouraged.  i recently read something that has helped me reevaluate my M.O.

Psalm 138:8
the Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, o Lord, endures forever.

a couple things about this that stand out to me.

one:  the LORD will fulfill
I will not be the one doing the fulfilling. God will do it in me.  yes, i can do all things through Christ... but not apart from Him.  and ultimately it's in HIS strength that i'll be doing it in anyway.  not mine.  in fact, in my strength... as i've proved time and time again... ain't nothing going nowhere.   in light of this fact, i will move forward with a sense of release and freedom.  letting go, letting God. i absolutely have a tendency to want to cling to what is familiar, afraid of letting that go, afraid of embracing what lies ahead because, well, i can't see what that is.  i can't embrace the future, my purpose, if i'm clutching on to the past. but i CAN let go because it is the LORD that will fulfill.  

two:  His purpose for me
HE has a PURPOSE for me.  HE has a PURPOSE for you.  you were born ON PURPOSE.  this blows my mind.  the Creator of the universe, commander of ANGEL ARMIES!! HE made me on purpose.

*stop and think of that*

HIS purpose.  proverbs 16:9 says we make our plans... but the LORD determines our steps.  i stand in awe of the fact that He wants to guide and use me at all.  this fact reassures me when i feel disappointed or defeated.  as i mentioned above, i can easily get caught up in my circumstances, what i don't have, what i can't see. but i take heart because i BELIEVE that God will enable me to get up.  again. and again. He will enable me to keep going. because HE has a plan and purpose for me.

three:  your love, o Lord, endures forever
forever is not a word that we can fully comprehend.  we say it flippantly daily.  God says it with the full weight of it's meaning behind it.  eternity. forever. endless. He will not fail. He will not fade. He can NOT be defeated. His love endures FOREVER. i can trust Him.  He is worthy. my worry is unfounded based on this fact alone. His LOVE endures FOREVER!

September is my birthday month (the 11th)  and i like to treat it as my own personal new year.  therefore,  this verse will not only serve as my meditation for the month, but also as my plumb-line for the year.  the verse that will keep me centered, weighted and vertical as i move forward into the future.

here it is one more time:

Psalm 138:8
The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me!
your love, o Lord, endures forever

the STANDard :: august

every month for the past 3 years i've posted a verse that God has used in my life, rather that God is using in my life at that specific time, and that i know i need to memorize and meditate on.  i've done this on the first day of each month... until today. which is the 2nd of August.  but there is a perfectly good explanation for this!  and the fact that my explanation so perfectly fits in with the verse itself provides some much needed comic relief today. 

you see, we are moving. not far, just a few miles away, but moving nonetheless.  and i would think that most of you would be able to completely relate to the chaos and mayhem that has ensued in my house.  this will be the 15th time since 1989 we have packed up everything we own and moved it to a different location.   what can i say, we're gypsies. and after that many years ... 24 ... lets just say we've accumulated some things. now, in my favor is the fact that my kids are older, one married and moved out in fact, and we aren't dealing with massive amounts of toys and games and strollers.  however, having relocated from california and our lunch-box-size house there to the big-sky-country of montana and a sprawling ranch house to match the size of the sky, well... we've got some stuff.  i admit that i didn't do the best job purging prior to our initial move up here 7 years ago.  however, as we are getting ready to transition into a new, less-than-half-the-size house in a few days, purging has become my life. and while it's an overwhelming process, i am making progress... 

for those of you who have moved, you know that the entire endeavor is stressful and overwhelming.  truly, any major seasonal life change or transition is.  and i have found, as you probably have too, that there are days where i just want to quit.  days when my emotions get the better of me. days when my heart just aches (and in my current case my hands and my back!) days when the enemy seems to have the upper hand and i feel beaten, pummeled, defeated.  days when i start agreeing with him and allowing his distortion of the truth to become my reality.  and it's days and moments like that, when i feel that i've come up for air for the last time, that i hear God say "i'm here".  

i'm not for a second suggesting that God wasn't there during the battle, i'm implying that i allowed the sound of the enemy's voice to ring louder in my ears.  the Word of God is true, you either believe it or you don't. but either way.... it's truth.  and James 4:7 says 'resist the devil and he will flee from you'. 
turn your back on the enemy, don't listen to a single word that comes out of his mouth.  he is the father of lies, half truths, distortion and deception.  his goal is to steal (your confidence, joy and purpose) kill (your heart and soul) and destroy (your testimony and effectiveness). period.  he doesn't like you.  he's not your friend.  

ALL THIS TO SAY that i've felt OVERWHELMED these past few weeks... and while i have had days of clarity and confidence there have also been days of defeat and failure.  yesterday... the first day of the month when i should have been posting my verse, my life line... i was instead packing and purging, engulfed in a cloud of confusion.  and then... this verse came to mind:

Isaiah 43:1-4
But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
       “Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
           I have called you by name, you are mine.
²               When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
           and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
              when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
          and the flame shall not consume you.
³        For I am the Lord your God,
          the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
              ...[you are] precious in my eyes,
          ... and honored, and I love you"

HE created me. HE knows my name. HE will go with me through the waters and the fire... when i feel completely alone i remember that HE is right there with me, not watching from the sidelines, but fighting alongside me.  HE will protect me. HE will not allow me to be overwhelmed to the point of defeat! HE is GOD and paid the highest price for my salvation! i'm HIS. i hope you're standing up or shouting or agreeing somehow right now because THIS. IS. GOOD. NEWS!!

my prayer is that this passage will not only encourage you TODAY as you face your current circumstance, but that it will serve to strengthen your heart for the next one.  i'd like to suggest that you take some time to look this passage up in multiple translations, and perhaps write it out in your own words.  

i love you! and as my dad always says to me, i'm praying God's highest and best for your life today!